So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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