the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
