i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
