I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
