Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
