He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Let's get the cat blown out
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
