Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
