i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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