Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
