big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
