someone owes me an orgasm
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
