I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
