dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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