Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
