dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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