the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
