I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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