Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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