Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
