Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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