everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When are your genitals available?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
