oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize