From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
