I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!