oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
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She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.