I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward