So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.