I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
