I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
