Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
