my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
that is very illegal...i love you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
