He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
