Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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