i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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