it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
