omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
