Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
