yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
