Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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