Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
