I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
