I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
