the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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