Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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