i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
