I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
