You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
