I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
