sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize