forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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