i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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