If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
