Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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