I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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