What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
where are you?
Hypothermia
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
