I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
