why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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