Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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