I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Found the puke drawer
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
