My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
