The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
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If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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