no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
