I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
