I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
vagina is talking i cant
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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