We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
