we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
