you win again, gameday.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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